Can I have an original thumb with a side ordering of hot and spicy fingers?
Relax – it is just KFC’s new nail polish range.
Oh, yes. The connoisseurs of chicken are trying their hand at cosmetics with two new flavoured varnishes that taste just like Colonel Sanders.
Again – I’m talking about the chicken.
Created by advertising firm Ogilvy & Mather and food technicians at McCormick, the company responsible for KFC’s secret spice mix, the nail varnish comes in the chain’s classic flavours; original and hot and spicy.
Sourced entirely from natural ingredients, the tastiest of which is KFC’s famous – and classified – 11 herb and spice blend, they come in designer glass bottles, which are in turn packaged in minimalist boxes with gloss details – a testament to the artistry that is a good piece of fried chicken.
And in keeping with that post meal shame that is at the bottom of every bucket, you’ll have to devour this just as quickly as they last just five days.
The polishes are currently only available in Hong Kong as part of a campaign by the food chain to build excitement around the brand.
And it seems Hong Kong is where they will stay.
Twitter users are so disgusted by the product that it is causing them to question life in its entirety.
“Why do I hate this world? Because now there is an edible KFC nail polish,” said Sara Hyde.
“KFC came out with edible nail polish and God is dead,” Bennie Fontana tweeted.
Poor Matt Reid said he was “losing the will to live” after he heard about the chain’s latest venture.
And Americans are just as, if not more, traumatised.
Sanjit Noori summed up the general dismay in her tweet, saying: “KFC flavoured nail polish exists and Donald Trump could become president. Please send help.”
The only help those behind it can give is their testament to its finger lickin goodness.
In a press release ahead of the polishes’ debut, Ogilvy & Mather said the nail polish was “created as a tribute to the world famous “It’s Finger Lickin Good” slogan.”
“The range keeps the brand literally at their customer’s fingertips while savouring their delicious signature chicken.”
Anna Mugglestone, the marketing and communications director for Ogilvy & Mather Group in the city, said: “the nail polish is a way to remind the younger generation of the great taste and good times the brand stands for.”
Bon appetit! Or not.